Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
