wakey wakey hands off snakey
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
