I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
