so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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