We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
