it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
