Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
she peed on how many people?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
