I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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