I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
