I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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