it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
