This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
