Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
