I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
