it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
