I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
