either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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