: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
