No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Did I show you my penis last night?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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