Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Did I show you my penis last night?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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