And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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