remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
