i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Sext me about skeletons
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
