I want to stick my p in your. b.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
