turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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