You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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