you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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