I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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