I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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