holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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