the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
