My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
