my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
