I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
