i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
