with your own penis?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
