I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
