the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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