gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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