Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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