even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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