i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Do you still have your period?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
