in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
