no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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