Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
