okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
