You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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