Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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