What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
