So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
