I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
