I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
